...I'd fight Gandhi...

Nothing really going on. yesterday at school there's this pit (where all the people sit in during lunch hour, or passing periods just to talk) well these seniors and juniors approached the pit in like a mini mob and stood in the center and put a two foot blow up penis in the center of the pit and fled the scene. it was funny because everyone became quiet then all at once started laughing because Mr. Levitt (the dean) picked it up and tried to pop it (but he held it near his crotch and started squeezing it for like 5 mins) then it finally popped...(I think he enjoyed it). anyway after this week I only have ten more days left of this school year (not counting finals) that means just ten days before Jake graduates. next year I'm going to be so lost and depressed. I've liked a guy before but not like this (I would seriously die for him at the drop of a hat) I'd do anything just to be with him. I donno maybe I'm just obsessed. All I do is think about him throughout the school day and when I'm at home. I don't know but when next year comes I'm going to be lost... In gym we are doing archery and I'm good at it i guess I hit the bullseye twice on my first try then the band just around the bullseye twice then I hit the bullseye again (I scare people now :lol: ) If I screw up highschool and can't get into a college I'm going to join the army. I'm not really thinking at the moment..
-I'm out

Some idiot at school infected me with thier plague! (I have a cold) those bastards! I sound like a manly girl eating cheese when I talk and each time I cough I go "*cough* oh fuck" the fuck comes automatically which I need to try and stop because I have to go to school tomorrow because, math I need the notes, english I have this project due, and science I have this powerpoint thing due. if i miss any it's an automatic F for the project. I don't want to go to school :cry: it sucks balls. I need to stop swearing and using vulgar language, it looks bad and sounds bad. I need new shoes I've been wearing these skechers since 8th grade and the sole of the shoe is coming off on both shoes and there are holes in them (my parents won't get me new shoes). And I need new clothes i wear the same thing week after week (but i wash them!) monday: Adema new fire logo T-shirt, tuesday: nantucket T-shirt, Wensday: my stupid rebel shirt, Thursday: Black hooded sweatshirt, Friday: My Mud jeans tattoo shirt or my Nike shirt. see boring!! I'm all normally weird. and none of these shirts go up past the zipper of my pants because I think it's sick (i don't know why) I think i'm going to throw up my stomach hurts like hell I need something to drink like mt. dew or something. I'm getting something to drink so...
-I'm out

SHIT!! no!!! I got my midterm and I have an F in math F is for fucked that's what i'm going to be over the dam nsummer I'll have to goto fucking summer school all summer!! shit no I hate school fuck there goes my fucking transcript!! shit It's to late to bring it up to a fucking D I need to study my ass off for the next test!! shit i hate studying!! fuck yeah this killed my depression right now I'm freaking out!! goddamnit.

I am lost, nothing left for me. I was at school today Jake was there. We gave eye contact. I was thinking about him the rest of the day, how he's cute and everything I like in a guy. When I was leaving the school I saw him. he saw me I kind of smiled (the uhh..wtf..hi type of smile) then as I was exiting the building I saw him agian and we looked at eachother, he turns to the girl next to him and she hug's him. I was like "fuck I'm an idiot" then I walked away towards the bus, I felt so stupid and everything. I've liked him since the beginning of the year i should've made a move before then but I didn't now it's too late. I'll never find someone like that again, I'm a loser.